MDCPS: The Dysfunctional Family

Carl Hiaasen has made millions telling stories of the stupidities that are found in Miami-Dade County, either through the people that live here or the politicians that make dumb mistakes here. While all of his stories are fictional, they are couched in reality. I think when I retire; I'd like to join Mr. Hiaasen in telling stories about the "oddities" of our county. Here's one of them:

The Miami Herald reported recently that the Miami-Dade County Public School Board is engaged in a very intense legal battle. Not with others who wish to intrude on the rights of the school board or of the superintendent, not even with one of its own employees. Instead, our school board is spending over $100,000 in legal fees fighting with itself. It seems that Marta Perez, a school board member, is mad because she suggested that four items be added to the December 2006 meeting agenda and Rudy Crew, our omnipotent superintendent refused. (New York sending Rudy Crew was their cruel little joke intended at getting back at Miami for stealing Pat Riley, score settled.) This simple refusal outraged Ms. Perez and if you mix a little anger with a little spite and throw a few lawyers into the mix...voila! You have a lawsuit and 100K down the drain.

But in all of this there is a hero! No, not a school board member who talked some sense into Ms. Perez or the Supreme Commander of the School Board, the Honorable, Humble, Great and Gracious Doctor Rudolph Crew (that what he makes us call him, there's a little courtesy and salute that goes with it, ala President Scroob in Spaceballs, but I don't have time to go into details), no, no... in fact the rest of the school board members became co-defendants and hired their own lawyers...at the district's expense (what?!? you mean pay for it themselves, the horror!). Judge Ronald Friedman, the one person in this who fiasco saw the complete ridiculousness of this and called the lawsuit 'absurd' and limited lawyers to fifteen minutes to make their case and was flabbergasted when he saw that MORE lawyers were coming on board (at no less than $250 and at a max of $450 and hour, guess who hired the expensive attorney...one guess...that's right, the unstoppable force that is Crew). Judge Friedman, you're my hero, but unfortunately, there's always a court of appeals, and there goes more of the district's money. Never mind that Miami Carol City High School is falling apart OR THAT WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY TEACHERS!!!! We'll just spend a couple hundred thousand on fighting with ourselves because we didn't add an item to the agenda. Way to keep the interest of the students in mind, I congratulate you.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY: Teachers, next time you department chair doesn't want to add an item to the next meeting, sue their pants off!